The Great Amazon Adventure

On Friday Crochet Widower noticed that we had been paying for Amazon Prime US since April, as we use Amazon Prime UK I hadn’t noticed before.

“Could it have been me?” I asks Crochet Widower

“no it’s Amazon US”

“Could I not have accidentally signed up on US?”

“Amazon automatically directs you to the geographically appropriate website”

“Do not underestimate me”

but he was  adamant someone must have used my debit card to pay their bill, cheeky upstarts.

So I phoned our bank to report card fraud, I was on hold for half an hour, it only took a quarter of an hour to notice that I had the volume turned down on the handset and that the speaker did work and I had been holding the phone with my shoulder while weaving in ends for nothing. When I finally got through to a person I was given Amazon’s fraud number and sent on my way.

Oh so many ends

Amazon are much better at answering the phones of a Friday evening than my bank and it didn’t take long before I was explaining that the charges were not on my Amazon account as it was Amazon US so I was transferred to Amazon US fraud, still with more speed than my bank, and spoke to a nice lady who couldn’t find me in the system so transferred me to another department and a very nice chap who asked me loads of questions and found me once we determined that the Atlantic had got in the way and translated Itchycrochet to ItchycLochet when I gave my email address.

We did a little dance that I was found and he started hunting the accounts and what have you for an explanation, in the mean time The Clone was watching a You Tube channel she likes that is mostly life hacks, there followed a conversation along these lines;

Me “Why is she watching ice melt?”

Chap “I’m sure SHE thinks it’s interesting”

M “Oh it’a an ice lolly, Popsicle to you, you put a cupcake case on teh stick to catch the drips, you never stop learning”

C “it’d be a bad thing if you did”

M “oooh, use frozen fruit as ice cubes, grapes in your wine, why is my 9 year old watching wine things?”

C “no idea, is she mature?”

M “more mature than I am, I sing loudly at her in the street when she tells me to stop singing, if you don’t sing at your kids who will???”

C “OK, do you want to know who signed up for Amazon US?”

M “OK but I won’t know them”

C “go upstairs to the bathroom and look in the mirror”

M “Oh for the… how did I manage THAT, (to CW) I told you not to underestimate me”

CW “tit”

We will be getting a refund due to never actually using Amazon Prime US, teh very nice chap said it was an absolute pleasure talking to me. I do hope he is telling people about the crazy Brit on the phone. Remember folks just because you can’t see them people on the telephone are people too and deserve to be entertained at work, and never underestimate my ability to be crazy.



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